Jesus kidnapped over weiner poopie

The 1st thing that came to mind would be to call the A-team.
I think if you steal something it should never be a religious item, because you know know its a sin and all. I also think if you go threw with this, be sure it is well worth it...don't do it over wiener poopie.

GET ON YOUR KNEES...and pray

I think Jesus would punch you guys in the effin face!